My Social Media ‘Meltdown’

Life  |  Published Sep 12, 2017  |  Updated Sep 27, 2017  |  By Tawnie

Social Media. Ugh.

We’re living in a pretty scary time. Social media is running our lives and determining what we post, how we post, what clever caption we need to put on a picture, and so on. Is this ruining our happiness? Is it doing its intended job of helping us connect with others? I’m not too sure anymore. PS – this is a total rant post. If you don’t want to read it, then don’t. These are my thoughts my space to share. I wanted to share because I think at least 1 person out there can relate.

The other day I was on the phone with my friend basically discussing how checking our Instagram and Facebook is so depressing sometimes. Maybe depressing is a strong word, but it’s really easy to fall into the comparison trap when checking social media. Seeing everyone’s perfect selfie in cute clothes and looking so modelesque. (Like, who took that picture for you anyways? LOL) Or “perfect” pictures with boyfriends/fiancés/husbands – I always wonder if the couple is really as happy as they are displaying to the world. I don’t want to dis the couples and people out there who truly are happy, that’s great – but I just wonder how much Instagram runs it. Having to show everyone what you’re doing to show them how cool of a life you have. That’s a lot of pressure, right? Needing to take a cute photo to impress who? Random followers who you rarely see in person? Are you trying to get a lot of likes on your picture to feel liked and loved?

The number of likes on a picture or your following does NOT define you. 

Trust me, I fell victim to wanting a ton of likes and always increase my following too. But when we start to become fixated on this number is where it can become too much. We don’t post the bad things that happen on social media. We are consistently posting the highlights and there is something in our brains that fires up when you start to get positive feedback and attention on those posts. Then, we continue to strive to post these perfect pictures more and more until you’ve created some kind of fabricated identity. I post pictures of food on my Krolls_korner Instagram account and post when I have fun on my TV segments – I post pictures because well, I’m a food blogger and love food and post about me on TV because I want viewers for the station. But yes – it sure as heck feels really good when someone comments, “Yum, this looks so good – I’m going to make it!” or “You look pretty in that dress, I love your hair!” These are the comments that keep us consistently posting “happy” content. And I think it’s turning into a scary downward spiral of having to keep up. 

Also…I was thinking about how people have gender reveal parties now to show everyone if they’re having a boy or girl. WOW, some of these parties look so beautiful. I truly applaud whoever is the host of them. Can you believe some of the ones you’ve seen floating around out there?! That’s a ton of work just to say what gender your baby is. Now, I’ve never been pregnant so I might not fully understand the excitement behind this type of reveal. But these parties didn’t exist before social media, did they? It’s almost like you’re having a party for Facebook and Instagram, not for the happiness and joy of creating a beautiful person inside of you with someone you’re in love with. That alone is a miracle in itself. 

When it comes to social media and my food blogging world I have been feeling a lot of anxiety towards it. Especially because I’m not a full time blogger. You can say it was almost a meltdown. I constantly am seeing people post pictures of beautiful food and wonder how the heck they have all this time to make their food look that good. It stresses me out thinking I need to go make an amazing smoothie concoction with peanut butter perfectly drizzling down the side of the Weck jar and post it on the gram too. Ugh, that is downright awful! Literally getting pressured by social media to post a picture of beautiful food. Stupid

Life is so so much more than this. More than a smoothie bowl with edible flowers on it and a perfectly placed linen napkin. 

I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I just need a break. I mindlessly scroll through the gram and realize I am wasting SO much time wanting to be involved in someone else’s life (who I’ll probably never meet). It’s gotten to be almost unhealthy – this pressure to post 1-2x/day, make sure I stay engaged by replying to comments and commenting on photos. It’s easy to get caught up in it – and I understand social media is business for many people – It just gets exhausting sometimes. Ya feel me?

This beauty-obsessed society we live in is real. And I’m scared for the generation growing up in it. 

There is so much more to life than Instagram. It’s an app. An app that I literally thought when it came out in 2010 was an app to simply put a filter on photos and blur the edges.

We need to start posting pictures because we want to, not because we think Instagram is going to like the perfect piece of toast for #ToastTuesday. We need to stop relying on other people to decide if your memories are worthy of being remembered, even if the picture doesn’t get a ton of likes. 

“Much of being on Instagram is about projecting the best-version of your life that there is – a far cry for the much more messy reality.”

I read that quote somewhere and resounded with it so well.

When I post a picture – no one knows that I could have been in an argument with someone minutes before posting, or crying about the loss of a loved one…it is social media, I can write a caption I want with any gorgeous picture I want when I want and no one knows what may have happened moments before.

You all get my point. Nobody’s life is how it looks on Instagram. 

Enjoy being in the moment. Not everything you do (or eat) needs to be shared on social media. Your best memories happen far away from a 4.7 inch screen. 

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5 years ago

I LOVE this and can totally agree!!! I’ve tried SO hard not to get bogged down by numbers and follows and likes and this and that, but it’s SO hard, because it is work, but so fun too! I’ve made a concerted effort to be WAY more transparent over the past few months and it feels SO good – and I think a way social media is definitely moving (or at least I just hope). But keep doing you girl because I see your vids and think how the hell do you have time to make such gorgeous videos, so you’re doing it alllllll right!!!

Sarah
5 years ago

So true. Your words resignate deep in my soul and I feel a huge lump in my throat, knowing I have fallen victim to the addiction of Instagram. I wish it would go away. I wish it was a fad that would just fade away and we can go back to just living our lives and steering our on course without everyone else’s highlight reel flashing brightly telling us our way is not shinny enough, bright enough, expensive enough, talented enough… thank you for your words, and the reminder that I’m not alone in my struggle. I read yesterday something so so good, it said” I’m worried about our generation, their faces show happy, and their eyes show sad”.

5 years ago

So true there is a ton of pressure as a blogger! I’ll be honest I stopped following people with the “perfect pictures “. Instead I started following people showing more real life and body positive quotes! Mentally so much better for me and it’s helped take the pressure off and refocused why I started blogging in the first place!

5 years ago

100% yes yes yes it’s exhausting! Thanks for bringing attention to a much-deserved topic!

Wayne
5 years ago

Your story is “on point” a friend of mine awhile back said social media is the devil! Trying to get you to think that everyone else is better off than you! This is not true, you are the only one like you and that is a gift from God!

You have to take social media with a grain of salt! Don’t compare yourself with anyone else. You never know what their “true” life really is!

Keep your chin up! You are great! Ignore everything else!

5 years ago

I always have struggled with this. I am not cool with it either lol. It’s become a bit consuming & exhausting quite honestly and I really try to set boundaries of how much sharing I do vs just enjoying the real moments.
I think when you let it go it becomes fun again, you just have to check yourself. I always love your content and style, just keep doing you!

Liz
5 years ago

Tawnie I feel like you were reading my mind today! I was taking photos today for my blog (and insta account) and was stressing over how much I didn’t like how they turned out— and then I had to stop myself and was like, “liz, it’s just food!!” I absolutely loved reading this and agree whole-heartedly. Thank you so much for sharing this!

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Social media has gotten way out of hand and I fall victim to it all the time. I feel so much pressure to “be engaging”, post at peak times, think of how pictures will reflect “my brand”. It’s stressful, time consuming and gives people a false sense of reality. Love this post and hope you find the happy medium!

Desiree
5 years ago

Perfectly written. I’m so thankful to have met you, Tawnie. You are truly an incredible woman. Xoxo-des

Liz
5 years ago

Yes yes yes! I loved this post Tawnie, and I think the most real versions of ourself tend to be the posts the serendipitously perform the best too – ironic huh!? I love who I’ve gotten to know behind the space and wouldn’t change a thing. I know how I can get caught up (esp in already planning that gender reveal party for my unborn kiddos lol) but in reality, keeping the truest version of yourself is always most important! Love you girl.

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